Online Workshop
Lesson 6
BOUNDARIES: Space for Serenity
915-562-7660 - 616 N. Virginia St. - El Paso, TX 79902
Handout:
Original Serenity Prayer
Handout:
Don't Try to Reason with Unreasonable People
Opening Discussion: Boundaries are limits living things establish for survival, comfort and safety. Animals, wild and domestic,
guard their territories and personal space instinctively to protect their resources, their families and themselves. Humans do the
same. Our boundaries range from borders between countries and states, to county lines and city limits, to legal property lines, to
our front doors and finally to our personal space.
The issue of respecting boundaries is an ancient, fundamental theme in human existence.Homer’s Iliad and its sequel, the Odyssey
are among the oldest extant works of Western literature, dating to around the 8th century BC. Both have the underlying theme of
hospitality, “the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests” within a host’s boundaries.
In the Iliad, Paris, son of the King of Troy, visits the home of Menelaus, king of Sparta and abducts his wife, Helen. This blatant
violation of Menelaus’ hospitality begins the Trojan War. The Spartan hero, Odysseus devises the plan to breach the gates of Troy
using a giant hollow horse and wins the war for Sparta.
The Odyssey tells the story of Odysseus’ long journey home after the war. He and his men face repeated hospitality-themed
challenges along the way, dealing with everything from sirens to a Cyclops. All the while, Odysseus’ own wife, Penelope is forced to
ward off her drunken suitors as they occupy Odysseus’ home and consume his stores. A whopping violation of Odysseus’
hospitality.
Civilization still depends upon respect for boundaries and hospitality. So why do people who love one another breach each other’s
boundaries? Why do we allow it? Are we always aware of our own violations?
.
Meditation and Visualization: Sit up, feet flat on the floor, spine straight, head lifted. Breathe deeply, relax,
focus inward. In the stillness, pretend you can actually see your boundaries surrounding you. Now feel them,
like an energetic comfort zone filled in every direction with your own presence – a safe, you-shaped force field
filled with serenity that no one can penetrate. Smile and enjoy for a bit.
When our boundaries are healthy, we have that feeling of empowered serenity – a state of calm and tranquility
that allows us to think clearly and act confidently. We’re aware of our own and others’ boundaries. Now and
then, we all allow our boundaries to collapse or we invade someone else’s, especially in relationships that
trigger unhealthy behavior patterns and drain our serenity.
In recovery groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous, the Serenity Prayer emphasizes overcoming unhealthy
patterns. It reads “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Writing Prompt:
List the things you CAN and CANNOT change.
Read Aloud:
I encourage everyone to share, but will respect your privacy. Also, although I will occasionally make
suggestions on dealing with personal situations, members of the group should be cautious about offering unsolicited
advice.
Conclusion:
Understanding how our emotions and behavior patterns affect our ability to make rational, confident
decisions is vital to maintaining healthy boundaries.
Break / Stretch
Resume Discussion: By taking full responsibility for our lives, we learn when to surrender and when to transcend our
circumstances, but what CAN and CANNOT be changed is itself constantly changing: we might be accepting what can be changed or
trying to alter the unchangeable. To access the wisdom to tell the difference, we must have the serenity of healthy boundaries,
which is something we CAN control. So why don’t we?
We all like to think we’re reasonable, of sound judgment, fair, sensible, moderate, not extreme or excessive in any way. But to
maintain healthy boundaries, especially dealing with certain people or situations, we must be willing to seem unreasonable
on occasion. Protecting our boundaries is not the same as being mean or crazy. It can make others uncomfortable when we
change old behavior patterns, but when one person gets healthier, it benefits everyone and inspires positive change.
George Bernard Shaw wrote: “The reasonable person adapts to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the
world to him or herself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable person.”
Meditation and Writing Prompt:
Sit up, feet flat on the floor, spine straight, head lifted. Breathe deeply, relax, focus
inward. Imagine that moment when someone is about to test your boundaries. Gather your serenity and begin
writing: “I am grateful to have you in my life because (list reasons for gratitude) but today I’m making a change, (tell
what you’re doing differently), and I know it’ll work out better for both of us.”
Read Aloud
Handout:
Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries
Conclusion:
Healthy boundaries let us speak our truth and change our lives. It’s like voting daily on how we want the
world to be. “There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order
to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the
darkness conscious.” – Carl G. Jung
Colorectal Cancer
Colon cancers are commonly
called cancers of the colon and
rectum. People with a personal or
family history of this cancer, or
who have polyps in their colon or
rectum, or those with
inflammatory bowel disease are
more likely to have colon cancer.
Also, being overweight, eating a
diet mostly of high-fat foods
(especially from animal sources),
smoking, and being inactive can
make a person more likely to have
this cancer.
What you can do
Stool-based tests:
Colon cancer almost always starts
with a polyp – a small growth on
the lining of the colon or rectum.
Testing can save lives by finding
polyps before they become cancer.
If pre-cancerous polyps are
removed, colon cancer can be
prevented.
For people at average risk of colon
and rectal cancer, the American
Cancer Society recommends
starting regular screening at age
45. People older than 75 should
talk with their health care provider
about whether continuing
screening is right for them.
Screening can be done either with
a sensitive test that looks for signs
of cancer in a person’s stool (a
stool-based test), or with an exam
that looks at the colon and rectum
(a visual exam).
> Yearly fecal immunochemical test
(FIT)
> Yearly guaiac-based fecal occult
blood test (gFOBT)
> Multi-targeted stool DNA test
(MT-sDNA) every 3 years
> Colonoscopy every 10 years, or
> CT colonography (virtual
colonoscopy) every 5 years
> Flexible sigmoidoscopy every
5 years
Visual (structural) exams of the
colon and rectum:
If you are at high risk of colon
cancer based on family history or
other factors, you may need to
start testing before age 45. Talk to
a health care provider about your
risk for colon cancer to know when
you should start testing.
Breast cancer in men is rare, but it
does happen. Less than 1% of all
breast cancers occur in men. For
men, the lifetime risk of being
diagnosed with breast cancer is
about 1 in 1,000.
100% of all donations to the Rio
Grande Cancer Foundation remain
in the El Paso area and are used to
support programs and projects
benefiting El Paso area cancer
patients and their friends, family
and caregivers.
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tribute to people whose lives are
impacted by cancer. Funds like
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