Online Workshop
Opening Discussion: What is self-care? What are some of the things we do to care for ourselves? Self-care is anything we do to care
for our mental, emotional and physical health that results in improved mood, reduced anxiety, and healthier relationships with
ourselves and others. But can we do these things and still stay strong? Let’s look at how two classic action heroes handle this
dilemma.
First, John Rambo – Vietnam Veteran, former prisoner-of-war, only survivor of an elite military team, who sees himself as a victim of
the system that betrayed him. He’s angry, depressed, isolated and has little meaningful contact with others. He wears old clothes, a
rag tied around his head, and is often sweaty, dirty, bloody, draped in heavy weapons, and screaming ferociously. He uses animal
instinct to survive, and quickly resorts to violence. He embraces suffering, denies himself human comforts, and longs for peace.
Then there’s Agent 007, Sir James Bond – a British Navy Commander and Secret Intelligence Service officer who enjoys the
complete support of the system that provides backup and cool gadgets designed by a lab full of scientists. He’s cool, sociable and
even-tempered, flirts with his boss’s secretary Miss Moneypenny, and is constantly pursued by gorgeous women in bikinis. Bond
wears expensive suits, never sweats, is rarely dirty or bloody, and doesn’t raise his voice. He has keen instincts and uses minimal
violence. He rejects suffering, enjoys plenty of human comforts and peaceful pleasures.
Rambo and Bond represent opposite attitudes toward life and suffering. Which one can you imagine having a massage and a
pedicure? And which one of these fictional characters has survived more successfully? Since 1982, there’ve been fewer than six
Rambo movies (all starring Sylvester Stallone) with Rambo V still pending; whereas, since Dr. No came out in 1962, there’ve been
more than 25 James Bond movies starring a dozen different actors as Agent 007. It’s the longest-running and most financially
successful English-language film franchise ever…and it’s still going strong.
SELF-CARE: Super Heroes Do It
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Handout:
Stoicism
Conclusion: When the sacrifices we make for the people we love lead to self-neglect, we’re being irresponsible.
Balancing self-care with caring for others is vital for healthy relationships. It also sets a good example by letting the
people we love know we expect them to take good care of themselves, too.
Lesson 4
Conclusion: Some suffering is unavoidable. Some is optional. Some people are defined by their suffering. We can choose
to suffer in order to feel special, because we fear being ordinary and having normal limits. Choosing to suffer only
reduces our ability to handle the unavoidable suffering.
Meditation and Writing Prompt: Sit up, feet flat on the floor, spine straight, head lifted. Breathe deeply, relax, focus
inward. In the stillness, reflect on what you know about self-care. Who were your examples? Are you more like Rambo
or 007? When you’re ready, begin writing.
Read Aloud: I encourage everyone to share, but will respect your privacy. Also, although I will occasionally make
suggestions on dealing with personal situations, members of the group should be cautious about offering unsolicited
advice.
Break / Stretch
Resume Discussion:
Where do we get the idea that we should always put others ahead of ourselves? Can that behavior backfire?
On commercial airline flights, in case of emergency, we’re instructed to put oxygen masks on ourselves first then on anyone we’re
traveling with who needs our help. Failure to follow these instructions makes us part of the problem instead of the solution.
Being attached to our suffering, needing to feel “special” and other unhealthy behaviors can keep us in a constant state of self-
denial, even when everyone around us wishes we would just take responsibility for ourselves and our overall health.
Handout:
How to Avoid Decision Fatigue
Meditation and Writing Prompt: Sit up, feet flat on the floor, spine straight, head lifted. Breathe deeply, relax, focus
inward. Examine your physical, psychological and spiritual self-care behaviors. When you’re ready, begin listing what
you could improve starting immediately. Also note the resources available to help you make these positive changes in
your self-care behaviors.
Read Aloud
The Internet
Compare the information you find
on the Internet with other
resources. Check two or three
articles in the medical literature or
medical textbooks to see whether
the information or advice is similar.
Check the author's or
organization's credentials. They
should be clearly displayed on the
web site. If the credentials are
missing, consider this a red flag.
Unfortunately, there are many
phony doctors and other health
professionals making false claims
on the Internet.
Find out if the web site is
maintained by a reputable health
organization or reviewed by board
certified doctors. Remember that
no one regulates information on
the Internet. Anyone can set up a
home page and claim anything.
Check for the web sites Editorial
Policy. Web sites that provide
health or medical information
should have a Medical Editorial
Board, and an Editorial Policy (that
includes peer review by their
doctors).
Be wary of web sites advertising
and selling products that claim to
improve your health. More
important, be very careful about
giving out credit-card information
on the Internet (check to see if
they have a secure database such
as VeriSign™).
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